This is the ‘poster’ from Levy’s Website. What a picture they chose to use for me. My God. EGADS! I was a mess back then. Still am a bit of a pudge, but that’s a face a father didn’t want, for sure.
Anyway, if Chins McDevitt hasn’t scared you away, you can check out Bob, Beetle and myself this weekend in Wildwood, NJ at The Casba Comedy Club. Click on the link, and look at the way their website spells COMEDY. I don’t have the heart to correct them.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What about all my facebook apps? You cruel, cruel fuckers!!!!
Sorry for not blogging more these past few weeks, but I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been cheating on you with Facebook. A lot. Like A Lot. Like take whatever you think is a lot and multiply that a lot. I’m driving Jess nuts. But I just can’t stop playing My Heroes Ability, Knighthood, Owned, and Mob Wars.
I can’t.
I play them all day. I play them when I go home. And I neglect you, my half ninjas. For that I apologize. My camera, USB cord, and Memory Card Reader are each in three separate locations, but once I compile them together, like some sort of lame Zelda Quest, I’ve got photos of Dozer, Minor League Baseball Games, Colin Quinn, and more.
As always, I’ll probably do a lot of updating from Wildwood, while I’m at the Casba with Bob Levy and Beetlejuice this weekend Thursday Friday and Two Shows Saturday.
OR
It’s as simple as that. It was a dopey joke. Get off the crazy old coot’s nuts. I’ve got news for you. African American is not a color. Try finding African American in a box O’ Crayolas. Keep looking, numbnuts. Keep looking. Find it yet? NOPE. Didn’t think you would.
is so far the worst movie I’ve seen this year, and quite possibly a contender for top ten worst films ever.
I’ve never seen a movie so completely mis-cast. No one in this film belonged there. First scene with Markie Mark, he’s wearing a sweater vest teaching school in Philadelphia, call bullshit, and try to sneak to another theater. Or else you’ll be wasting another few hours of your time. There are “tense” moments that are absolutely laughable.
I predict more than a few screen cap “.avis” going viral once this piece of shit hits DVD. There’s a very annoying quality to Mark Wahlberg when he’s not playing a bad ass or speaking in his native Boston dialect. The “ever so calm soothing ‘Everywhere’ Accent that he’s cultivated to cover his Bahston-ness is ever so irritating.
Watch this film at your own risk. Personally, I think people should stop letting M. Night Shyamalan make movies. He caught lightning in a bottle with his first one, but let’s face it, he’s kind of a hack. Three turds in a row. Go back to Bucks County, Asshole.
but only for 12-pack codes of all the participating MYCOKEREWARDS.COM brands. SO get yourself 20 12-pack codes and don’t enter any codes on the 24th.
Then enter your first ten codes on the 25th of June in the morning (before 12pm) then enter the other 10 12-pack codes after noon. You’ll walk away with 400 Coke Points instead of the usual 200 that a move like that would garner.
This means all you Boys State Thursday Night Party Havers better be holding onto those Coke CODES for me. Or you’re all going swimming in Lake Nelson.
Let’s hope the third time proves to be the charm for the Rev.Robert Levy and his new bride Chrissy. They were married June 18th, in Ohio, in/on/near or by a gazebo in the town square.
Should you like to provide the young couple with a wedding gift, there’s no better time to do that than at Levy’s Comedy Club in Levittown, PA this SATURDAY NIGHT, when the Reverend will be appearing with Headliner Colin Quinn, myself, and Mike Morse.
215-945-LEVY for reservations and more details.
Mazel Tov, Bobby.
Here are two more videos making the rounds amongst the Boys State staff. I’m sure they’re probably old hat to a few of you internet elite halfninjas out there, but this was the first time I saw them, and they made me laugh.
AND
That’s right it’s Boys State week, which means I’m barely around and when I am I can barely stay awake.
So check out this video from fellow Boys Stater, Juggles, and his friends in Tampa.
Here are a few pictures from my life with Dozer:
This picture probably reveals a little more about my psyche than Dozer’s but hey. What can you do?
After a few nights, we broke down and started letting him sleep with us. So it looks like I’ll be sharing my bed with two mammals for the next fifteen years (not exactly how I’d fantasized the “two mammals bed-sharing” in my younger days).
Dozer ALSO like the Wii, but there are never any controllers left for him to play.
scares the hell out of me, and I can’t put my finger on why. It might be her uneven breasts, or that look in her eye that just screams, “If you come home late, I’ll cut your cock off.” Possibly, it’s her Terminator2-stylee cheekbones. Or the nose that looks crookeder than a Clinton. Maybe it’s just that she’s a 30 year old coffee waitress looking for love on the internet? I don’t know. But I’m certainly not going to sign up for whatever website she’s hawking.
Thanks for freaking me out myspace.
Back when Breslin and I did the Chris McDevitt Show we played this song on it, along with R. Kelly’s “Real Talk” unfortunately, it seems like the chick got over shadowed by the pisser. So a few minutes ago I saw this video posted on somebody’s myspace page and recognized the tune.
Without further ado, here’s the video for “Smell Yo Dick.” You might want to turn your speakers down if you’re at work.
“I sure hope no one photoshops a penis into my hand.”
Dozer loves his toys. If only he didn’t sink his teeth so deep into them that he can hang from the toy.
Spaz.
Not much to blog about really, this heatwave has Jess and I holed up in our apartment watching HBO on Demand. Which by the way if you have the chance you should totally check out the documentary that HBO films did on Roman Polanski. The dude totally isn’t the shitbag I always thought he was. He didn’t run to escape prosecution, so much as malicious sentencing by a crazy old coot of a judge who was trying to choreograph the lawyer’s arguments from his own chambers.
Oh, here’s one thing you should ponder. What the fuck is with the people at the gas company? I tried to change the utilities on our new apartment over into my name and they wanted two pieces of identification, a copy of our lease, AND a piece of mail from our old address. Exquise me? WTF? Who gets mail anymore? All my bills are electronic and I lived with my mother. Aside from a Maxim Magazine from three years ago or a box from Amazon.com I didn’t receive mail.
And the mail I did receive all came First Class postage paid (Disney, Coke, and EZPass are classy corporations), which I found out on the first visit to the gas company is NOT GOOD ENOUGH, not only do they arbitrarily want a piece of mail they want it postmarked. The fucking guy wouldn’t even take my first class mail with a copy of the rental truck receipt from moving all my fucking stuff TO my new apartment. If Jess and I hadn’t bought our new bed at Sleepy’s I wouldn’t have had shit to show the guy. And for some reason he was suspicious that I knew the former tenant’s name despite her being the one that initially showed us the apartment and the fact that we’re still receiving mail for her.
Are there really fraudulent people out there who WANT to be billed for utilities at places they DON’T LIVE? Really?
Fucking 10-dollar-an-hour-inbreds with nothing better to do than hassle me in the half hour before I have to go to work. They’re open 8 to 4:30pm? Gee, I wouldn’t want you people to actually be CONVENIENT.
Die in a Gas Fire.
In the past three days I’ve put together a lamp, a fan, a set of tray tables and unloaded countless boxes of the various crap Jess and I call “our stuff”. It’s almost a hundred degrees out there, and if my landlord has a crowbar I can borrow, I might be able to separate my nuts from my thighs. Maybe.
Jess wants me to tell you that she put together the vacuum. Are you as impressed as I am? You can let her know in the comments, Dennis.
Well back to the Law and Order: SVU marathon that’s currently on the USA Network.
Woot.
A couple of pictures from the move:
I’ll say one thing if you have to move anytime soon the people at PENSKE were really super accomodating. You can reach them at their website, HERE.
alittle drunk, waiting for Jess to Dress. Dozer is next to me, nuzzling my feet, and I realize I haven’t done any meaningful blogging in a while. I have a few shots, I took of the little fella around our apartment that I’ll post tomorrow, until then, just be aware that I know I’m neglecting you halfninja readers and that I’ll be sure to be more diligent about my posting in the next week.
Did you hear about the “steroids rat” that got whacked?
I wish I didn’t giggle when people die, but I do. I’m going to hell.
The new “story” is that HE murdered the woman and then killed himself, but I buy that about as much as I buy the “DC MADAM” hung herself in her mother’s shed.
The Media really expects us to buy some whoppers sometimes. Like honestly, when you’re selling me a bullshit story, at least make it plausible.
Nobody shoots themself IN THE STOMACH before shooting themself in the HEAD. I really wanna kill myself, but first I think I’ll suffer. SHYEAH. Perhaps the coroner found rectal damage where the monkeys flew out of his butt.
Robbery Smells Like a Setup to Cops.
Sure, this guy got robbed, but the real questions I have are “Why was a 22 year old man hanging out with a 15 year old girl in his apartment?” and “What kind of asshole has a cellphone worth $1700?”
Thanks to Anna, who emailed this story to halfninjablog [at] gmail[dot]com.
161,000+ views.
Not too bad. June 2007- June 2008.
Here’s hoping the next year of partialninjadom is even better. I’d write more but I’m so tired after the move yesterday that I don’t have the strength at the moment.
