Over the past two months, Rosetta Stone has sent me over 120 emails. The majority of these emails are in regard to some sort of SECRET SALE they are having. If you aren’t aware, Spanish has 5 levels. Each one is like $175 bucks or so. You can usually buy them all in a group for like $600, but it’s really worth $899. Or at least it was when I actually cared about Rosetta Stone. I’m still on their mailing list, and although I’m going to be writing a sci-fi novel that will at least in part lean heavily on a bastardized version of Spanish, I just don’t care to be bilingual anymore. The only people I see on a day-to-day basis speak English. My two children make international travel downright unaffordable if not outrightly impossible.
This doesn’t stop the Rosetta people from pestering me about my failures on a daily basis. They have secret sales, super secret sales. Special offers where I can get the 5 levels for $219, on Columbus Day it was $209. One day because they really didn’t give a fuck it was $199.
It’s like a bad stock and my inbox is the ticker. The sale was supposed to end yesterday. They emailed me 4 times that it was ending yesterday. Today? SALE EXTENDED 1-DAY ONLY!
$219. LEARN SPANISH! NOW.
Here’s some Spanish, Rosetta. Chinga Tu Madre. Chinga Tu Madre In Su Culo, por favor.
The first few chapters are available as a sample on all the sites. The whole book can be purchased for $4.99.
Please feel free to review the book or add it to your To-Read list on Goodreads.com
“McDevitt paces his story with Elmore Leonard-esque dialogue in a rapidly expanding world. An east-coast Christopher Moore. Fast paced, funny and just slightly longer than a Mexican Birth Certificate.”
After finishing 2nd in the Way Too Hip league last year, I figured I would go ahead and play in two leagues this year. I finished 3rd in WTH despite having to autodraft my entire team thanks to Hurricane Sandy knocking out my power for six days. In the second league, I finished 2nd, against an opponent who essentially acquaintanceraped the entire league. The guy proposed ridiculous swap after ridiculous swap always favoring him to me about 24 times in the twenty week season. I can only imagine that he did the same thing to everyone else in the league.
Was his team dominant? Not during the regular season, I still finished 1st overall, however, with Kevin Garnett and a few of my key players out, I went on to lose a contentious 7-1 final matchup. I had him in Free Throws, lost FG by .06%, lost by 36 3Pointers, 17 Assists; rebounds, steals and points were nearly 50% of my opponent’s numbers. The two most important aspects were the fact that the guy who won talked an insane amount of trash to no one. No one responded to his bullshit, and he kept posting it anyway. Also, the guy who won add/dropped 157 players over the course of the season; the next highest total was 38. Personally, I only added/dropped 11.
Fantasy Basketball is nowhere near as rewarding or thrilling as Fantasy Football. In FB, if you stay on your lineup and field the active players, you will make the playoffs. You could have the worst possible team in the league, but if you are starting people who are actually playing, you will win at least 60% of your games. No one remembers to set their daily lineup every week. It just doesn’t happen in most leagues.
Quite honestly, I think there are better uses of my time.