It’s 2020 and you’re not allowed to Caucus anymore, America.

There’s just no reason that voting in a primary should require milling about a folding table in a gymnasium for hours like the aftermath of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that no one wants to leave. You show up, you vote and you leave. You don’t grab a free t-shirt and round up as many undecideds as you can to go sit in the Yang corner with you. It’s weird. You’re weird. I know it’s February and you haven’t seen anyone but your cats since Christmas, but Caucusing has got to go.

I know you know how to vote. You do it in November. There’s no reason you can’t do that in February too. Perhaps you’ll find that it’s much easier to vote for Bernie Sanders if you don’t have to sit next to his supporters for three hours. You’re a dying breed, Caucus States. Alaska, Kansas, Hawaii, Maine and Washington have all seen the light and quit the Caucus. You should too. What are you waiting for?

It’s not like you’re afraid of the future or new technology. It was your desire for an App that got you in all this hot water, Iowa. You don’t need a computer application to record what squad a primary voter got down with when you just vote and leave. Election reporting is a lot easier with the “Vote and Go” method. Sure, every once in awhile Florida hangs a chad and makes it harder than it has to be, but you Caucusers, you’re the Amish of the electoral system. Instead of a big hat, you’re wearing sweatpants and have nowhere else to be.

Personally, I want my voters to have somewhere else to go. Work preferably, or school, failing that, I’d take just about anything better than loitering on public land pretending to be statesmen. Don’t even get me started on Kentucky. Quit trying to have it both ways. You Kentucky Republicans are done too. I’m not suggesting your caucus is co-located with a Klan meeting, but you know I’m thinking it.

Vote and Go. This isn’t high school, we don’t signify our political beliefs by who we sit with in the lunchroom.