Rosetta Stone Desperately Wants Me To Learn Spanish RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Over the past two months, Rosetta Stone has sent me over 120 emails. The majority of these emails are in regard to some sort of SECRET SALE they are having. If you aren’t aware, Spanish has 5 levels. Each one is like $175 bucks or so. You can usually buy them all in a group for like $600, but it’s really worth $899. Or at least it was when I actually cared about Rosetta Stone. I’m still on their mailing list, and although I’m going to be writing a sci-fi novel that will at least in part lean heavily on a bastardized version of Spanish, I just don’t care to be bilingual anymore. The only people I see on a day-to-day basis speak English. My two children make international travel downright unaffordable if not outrightly impossible.
This doesn’t stop the Rosetta people from pestering me about my failures on a daily basis. They have secret sales, super secret sales. Special offers where I can get the 5 levels for $219, on Columbus Day it was $209. One day because they really didn’t give a fuck it was $199.
It’s like a bad stock and my inbox is the ticker. The sale was supposed to end yesterday. They emailed me 4 times that it was ending yesterday. Today? SALE EXTENDED 1-DAY ONLY!
$219. LEARN SPANISH! NOW.
Here’s some Spanish, Rosetta. Chinga Tu Madre. Chinga Tu Madre In Su Culo, por favor.
Here’s hoping the unsubscribe link works.
Half Ninja 