This man should be charged with “Felony Hilarity”

From the Associated Press:

STONE MOUNTAIN, Ga. — Police say a 61-year-old man annoyed with a crying 2-year-old girl at a Walmart slapped the child several times after warning the toddler’s mother to keep her quiet.

A police report says after the stranger hit the girl at least four times, he said: “See, I told you I would shut her up.”

Roger Stephens is charged with felony cruelty to children. It was unclear if he had an attorney and a telephone call to his home Wednesday was unanswered.

Authorities say the girl and her mother were shopping Monday when the toddler began crying. The police report says Stephens approached the mother and said, “If you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you.”

Authorities say after Stephens slapped the girl, she began screaming.

I’m sorry, I wish I could feel bad for this little girl, but this man’s actions are the culmination of so many of my check-out line daydreams, that I can’t stop laughing long enough to empathize.  How many of us have wanted to or have threatened to slap a stranger into quiet submission?  Five across the Face.  I’m Rick James, Bitch!  However, you want to put it.  People in public can be really annoying, it’s good to know, that there are still some honest-to-goodness-crazy-as-hell Southern gentleman not afraid to get their knuckles dirty when a toddler won’t behave.  I hope there’s at least one on my flight to San Antonio.

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~ by chrismcdevitt on September 3, 2009.

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