Tom Green WAS NOT Viciously Assaulted After Fender Bender


“Hey gang. Just to set the record straight. Our website was hacked yesterday by the bastards! Damn you 4chan! They sent out a mass email and posted several erroneous stories online about my untimely demise. Turns out there is a prank website called that creates these stories. These resulted in the much reported story last week of Jeff Goldblum falling off a cliff in New Zealand. He has since been on the Colbert report. Go tell those /b/ tards over at 4chan where to go!”

Green was allegedly driving a Mercedez in Fullerton, California when his vehicle struck a pickup truck towing landscaping equipment. Three men from the pickup truck pulled Green from his car and beat him before fleeing the scene.

“He didn’t have a chance against these men who attacked him before he said a single word to them,” says a witness.

Green, 37, was unresponsive when paramedics arrived.

Our prayers go out to Mr. Green during this terrible time for him and his family. I don’t know what’s going on with Celebrities this month but shit is getting out of hand.

The best part is how slyly the “FakeAWish” people became one of my Twitter Followers.  Hats off to you, FakeAWish.  Perhaps Pauly Shore could have a peanut allergy nobody knew about..


~ by chrismcdevitt on July 6, 2009.

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