What a Lawyerly Thing To Say

David Ranck, a 54-year-old Prosecutor, was suspended without pay Monday after he was accused of charley-horsing a delivery woman who was late delivering his pie.

According to Miami Beach police, officers on Saturday found Ranck standing next to the car of pizza woman Yudisceus Rodriguez de Armas, who was locked inside “shaking and in tears.” says, David Ovalle of the Miami Herald.

He was charged with misdemeanor battery and released on his own recognizance.

Ranck ordered a pizza Saturday night. When Rodriguez arrived, she called Ranck’s cellphone because she could not get into his gated condo building.

From the balcony, Ranck began yelling to her, she told police. She speaks Spanish and did not understand Ranck. Ranck came downstairs to let her in. When Ranck stepped in front of her car, he claimed, Rodriguez drove it toward him, tapping his thigh.  He then knocked off Rodriguez’s Domino’s visor, and when she threw her cellphone at him, he punched her in the arm, ”leaving a bright red mark,” the report said.

A nosy neighbor who heard the ruckus allegedly witnessed the battery.

Ranck’s lawyer, Allan Kaiser, would only comment:

“At this point, I’m wondering where his pizza is. He never got his pizza.”

I may be a little biased here as I think knocking off anyone’s visor is a hilarious move.    I realize it’s Miami, but why do they have a delivery woman who doesn’t speak enough English to deliver a pizza delivering pizzas? You aren’t supposed to hit women, but when those women are yelling in spanish and throwing cellphones, how else can you communicate that your dinner should have arrived twenty minutes ago?  Visor-Flipping and Charley-Horses seem to be an appropriate response to me.

~ by chrismcdevitt on June 4, 2009.

2 Responses to “What a Lawyerly Thing To Say”

  1. With all respect, you have it backwards. The question isn’t why they have a delivery person who doesn’t speak English, it’s why somebody who doesn’t speak Spanish has any business ordering a pizza. This is Miami, you know.

  2. It being Miami, the problem wasn’t the missing pizza, it was the missing side of snow… is it still called that?

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