Dozer Stories

Lately, I’ve noticed that before Dozer will go outside for a walk or to ‘go potty (i.e, whiz or defecate on our driveway), he has a battery of stretches that he must run his body through before he’ll accept the leash. I’m not talking about a shrug here, or a lean there. He looks like a 60 year old man at the jogging park. He’s stretching the front, he’s stretching the back legs, he’s bending in the middle. I swear I saw him do the Pasha Yoga Down Dog pose and hold it for like 5 seconds this morning. The entire time he’s looking up at me like, “Don’t judge, you wouldn’t want me to pull a hammy out there, would you? You know a stretch here or there wouldn’t hurt you either, fat man.”

I know dogs don’t talk, but if he did, I’m sure I’d have him spot on. Like this morning, when he was lying on the bed going to town on himself, and I farted. He scurried to the top of the bed, and looked back at me like, “Do you mind, I’m trying to lick some poop off myself? You’re gross, you know that?”

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~ by chrismcdevitt on February 23, 2009.

One Response to “Dozer Stories”

  1. That’s hilarious! He does say that…in my head. He also says “you kno-ow a treat would be nice. treat? no? beggin’ bits?….pleeeaassse?”

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