Thoughts on Halloween

Thank god that ‘holiday’ is over.  Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.  I won third place in the costume contest at work, even though I didn’t really enter.  I just showed up for the Skittles.  I won $10 gift certificate to Panera.  A bread store.  Nobody would take it from me, I tried to give it away.  I don’t want a $7 bagel and a carmel macchiata.  I would have taken the second place prize of a $20 Target gift card but that went to a little baby.  You heard right, a baby.  Last time I checked Babies didn’t work for my company.  I don’t know how the baby was eligible to win, but apparently they were hurting for costumes.  First place went to the only person who took it seriously.  i.e, the Bride of something or other in the Trick Or Suite entry below.

Things went from bad to worse when I went home and had to hand-out-candy while my mommy cooked my dinner.  Female costumes have been getting sluttier by the year, which is fine when you’re going to adult parties, not so fine when you’re an unmarried 27-year-old man who lives with his mother sitting on the porch handing out sweets. 

“Oh let me guess what you are.  A whore.  A slut.  A slutty whore.  A whory slut with wings.  An unwinged whory slut.  Ohh a De-winged zombie whore.  Clever.”

I saw three little boys dressed as pimps.  Pimps.  At least I think they were costumes.  Perhaps, they were uniforms.  Maybe that explains the rather provocative decline of female costumes amongst underage girls.  Are there candy pimps?  Is SweetTooth Willie keeping a stable by the monkey bars?

“Baby, we GOT to get this CANDY.”

What an awful awful holiday.  At least I didn’t see anyone dressed up as Robert Goulet, that would have been awesome in bad taste.

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~ by chrismcdevitt on November 1, 2007.

3 Responses to “Thoughts on Halloween”

  1. I cranked it to all three pics, please dont tell Jess

  2. So, I don’t know you. At all. I was just blogsurfing and I found this post. You’re one of the fastest growing blogs, did you know?

    Well. My boyfriend dressed as Robert Goulet for Halloween! It’s rather ironic, really, because he’d been planning it for months. And then, the day before Halloween, sadly Robert Goulet had to go and die. My boyfriend seriously considered changing his costume to be respectful, but decided he would more of a “tribute” to Robert Goulet.

    If you’d like to see a picture, you could go here.

  3. Sorry, I left out a “be” in my last comment. “He decided he would be more of a “tribute” to Robert Goulet.”

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