Disturbing Searches, Pt. 2

Sometimes when I look through the “Search Engine Terms” report I’m left wondering who the fuck are you people?

This is just a small list of some of the weird random things people put into search engine’s and find halfninja.com:

girls taking cock- I guess these three words are located somewhere within the pages of halfninja.com.  It’s not that weird a desire to want to see, but still odd to find a comedy blog with that phrase.

my fat girlfriend- Considering my girlfriend is not fat, it was kind of funny to see this on the search page, the first time.  However someone is SOOOO obsessed with fat girlfriends that they search it or a variation of it almost everyday and somehow wind up here.

boobies hot-  I’ll be the first to admit that boobies are hot, I just don’t understand putting the adjective after the noun.  Perhaps this particular boobie hot searcher speaks English as a second language.

ups truck- I’m not exactly sure why the phrase UPS truck would bring someone to halfninja.com, I can only assume it has to do with Ron Fin and what he drives around in all day.

drugged girl- I wish I could say that this particular phrase surprised me, but then, I’ve heard my comedy act.

oh herro- I must have been making fun of an Asian when google captured this little gem.

fucking in the room- You got me!  What room?  Whose fucking in it?  I want to know more.

stripper feet- Of all the body parts of a stripper, this has to be the one I care the least about.  Seriously, a big tittied stripper doesn’t even need to have toes to entertain me.

sea isle tits- I’ve never seen anyone be geographically specific about their taste in tits before.  Yet still as the next entry proves apparently people are.

hoboken tits- So, I’m guessing someone from Hoboken has a shore house in Sea Isle City, and really loves tits.

dying alone scares me- Perhaps the Hoboken Tit Searcher has realized that he will never fully realize his dreams of maintaining a viable relationship with any woman who did not arrive deflated in a box.

girls kissing tits- Who wouldn’t want to see this?  I’m going over to images.google.com to search this RIGHT NOW!

jeremy roloff’s girl friend- Wow, if you thought “hoboken tits” was the bottom of the specificity barrel think again.  This particular googler wants to see one woman and one woman only.

my penis and everybody else’s- I wish I could write something witty here but I’m too busy laughing my ass off at the thought of some innocent albeit strange child actually thinking that google had information on his penis as well as the penis of “everybody” else.

live show of vaginal sex- Typical search, just very very creepy diction.

rape tit thong- Either this particular psycho only thinks in fragments or some unfortunate woman is trying to piece together the last night she spent with Jeffrey Marsalis.

tit blast- Is the Nerf company making tits now?  WTF is this guy even looking for?

Arkansas strippers- Oh, come on!  Are you serious?  Please tell me this guy was starting alphabetically.  With the other 49 states to choose from would you really begin your stripper search in Arkansas?

caw sausage machine- I left this one for last because compared to all the rest, this one still puzzles me.  I have no idea what the hell a caw sausage machine is, nor do I have any interest in knowing.  Seriously, I wouldn’t even Wikipedia it.

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~ by chrismcdevitt on September 6, 2007.

One Response to “Disturbing Searches, Pt. 2”

  1. I also have quite a few weird ones:
    – Bui Hung Cuong
    – iwate cast iron
    – pony bedspreads
    – retarded bee
    – white meat on black street

    http://edgruberman.wordpress.com

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