Vivid Video/ Stood Up Release Party
My head, it hurts. What a great party. If you’re a pornossieur or a Howard Stern fan, Ultra was the place to be last night. Vivid Video threw a release party for Bob Levy’s Stood Up, there semi-autobiographical porno/comedy movie. Savanna Samson and Levy were there and even made the NY post for their ‘relationship’ the day before the party. A far cry from the days of his leather jacket and 6 year old FUBoots. The Rev showed up at the party looking like Don Johnson’s stunt double (from 1986).
Nothing says I’ve got a porno quite like a red shirt and white pants. Except maybe a mustache thick enough to braid.
At first, I was afraid that Levy and Dan pictured above would be the only people I knew at the party. Dan’s in the porno business. He’s kind of like the Guy behind the Guy behind the Guy assfucking the Girl.
My worries were shortlived however, as I immediately met up with Bottomfeeder Jeff and a couple of fans from the Allentown show, previously blogged about HERE. I went through my bag and my car this morning, and I can’t find my damn copy of the DVD so I’m pretty sure Jeff took it. The bastard. I was going to watch that.
There was a VIP Open Bar from 8pm-10pm before the party opened to the general public, but the only beer that was “open bar” was this light lager monstrosity by the name of Krait Beer. While it’s not as bad as Reingold, I would probably never drink it again unless it was free.
Levy had his Vodker as usual.
Savannah Samson ( I have no idea how to spell her name. I was going to check the box but Jeff fucking took it) was dressed very nicely at the party, and even brought along a Short Ripped Tattooed Tree Trunk of a Man as a Bodyguard (Not Pictured).
The place was pretty swanky. Looking through the menu I couldn’t believe I was even in a place like that. They had a $10,000 dollar bottle of Cristal. That’s not a misprint. 10 Grand for a 3 Liter bottle. I don’t know how many glasses is in a 3 Liter, mostly because I’m not a communist. But there can’t be that many. I should definitely shitcan the comedy career and just open a bar. I could call it “Moderation”. BEcause everybody should drink in Moderation. And the mirrors in the men’s room could come down like a baby changing table so that the patrons could snort blow off them. And I would sell the 3 Liters of Cristal for 9,999. Undercutting the competition.
I’m rambling here. Back to the party. Like I said, there were a lot of Stern show guys there. Angry Black, Irish John, High Pitch Eric, Dan the Song Parody Man, Shuli, Bob, Mutt, A LOT.
Even Emmy Award Winner, Don Jamieson, stopped by to support Ole Uncle Bobby.
It wasn’t as much of a sausage fest as predicted. Miserable Men brought out their resident woman Rachel, you may remember her from the interview she did with Levy’s Ex, Kim.
Yes, it was definitely not a sausage fest. By that I mean, here are some pictures of girls acting naughty because I’m starting to get lazy in my descriptions.
And the naughtiest of them all, Bubba The Love Sponge’s Own, Akira.
I didn’t know she was going to be at the party, and it kind of freaked me out meeting her. Mostly cuz I’d heard Bob and Bubba talk about her so much, and yet it never crossed my dimpled little brain that she was Asian. I don’t know how I imagined her to look, but asian wasn’t it. Even with the Japanime name. I just never thought Asian. I told her this, but I’m pretty sure both Bob and Akira racked it up to me drinking. I was genuinely puzzled.
Anyway, when the open bar is over, and you only have the $12 cash necessary to get you out of a parking garage, and you can’t actually guess that a person named Akira will be Asian. That can only mean one thing. It’s time to be moving on down the dusty trail. Sure I had said that I would leave at 10:30, and I ended up staying til around midnight, but what can you do? Them’s the breaks. It was fun, and my new Tom Tom Nav system works great. Except in New York City. There it doesn’t know it’s ass from the fact that the Tom Tom doesn’t have an ass. I was going down Broadway and it told me I was in the River. I think other people’s GPS signals mess with it, but what do I know? I’m not an Asian.
Later, baters. I have some rather explicit, uncensored photos from last night, but as per usual those will only be available to the email subscribers and only upon their request. So if you wanna see ’em, you gotta Subscribe. You can do it in the upper right hand corner of the tool bar ————–> Over there.