You, sir, are a Rapist.

So I found this list of things that make you a rapist on a messageboard that I frequent and just thought that I had to bring it to the attention of all the HalfNinjas out there.  You know, for your protection, so that you don’t actually become a rapist as well as an ancient assassin.Apparently one is much more tolerable than the other. I think I must be guilty of a few of these little checkmarks.  But let’s be honest, anyone who has been having sex for awhile has had some questionable encounters.  That’s probably why the ‘sexual assault’ numbers are so high in America, that and because Lifetime statistics also count all the ‘unreported assaults’.  The only one I really take exception to is the one that states by doubting a woman who says she was raped you encourage rape.  Let’s grow up a little here, can we?  The constituition says that you are innocent until proven guily.  Hence, you don’t have to doubt the girl’s story about being raped, but you may have to doubt the district attorney’s ability to prove she was raped beyond a reasonable doubt especially if a sexual assault never took place.  We have only to look to Durham, North Carolina and the Duke Scandal to see how such a militant following of this list could lead to a slew of misfortunes for the falsely accused.  Hey here’s a question, one time at Stockton I rubbed the helmet part on the outside of a girl who had passed out while making out with me, pants off.  Am I a rapist, or do I just have really shitty timing?Enjoy the list, either in its printing on this page or in its original form HERE, at the blog of the biting beaver (I wish I made that name up, but it’s actually legit. Don’t believe me? Click the link.)

The Rapist Checklist
Some things to remember…1. You are a rapist if you get a girl drunk and have sex with her.

2. You are a rapist if you find a drunk girl and have sex with her.

3. You are a rapist if you get yourself drunk and have sex with her. Your drunkeness is no excuse.

4. If you are BOTH drunk you may still be a rapist.

5. If she’s alternating between puking her guts out and passing out in the bed then you’re a rapist.

6. If she’s sleeping and you have sex with her you’re a rapist.

7. If she’s unconscious and you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

8. If she’s taking sleeping pills and doesn’t wake up when you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

9. If she is incapacitated in any way and unable to say ‘Yes’ then you’re a rapist.

10. If you drug her then you’re a rapist.

11. If you find a drugged girl and have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

12. If you don’t bother to ask her permission and she says neither ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ then you could be a rapist.

13. You are a rapist if you ‘nag’ her for sex. Because you manage to ply an eventual ‘yes’ from a weary victim doesn’t mean it’s not rape. You are a rapist.

14. You are a rapist if you try to circumvent her “No” by talking her into it. She’s not playing hard to get, and, even if she IS it’s not YOUR responsibility to ‘get’ her. You’re still a rapist.

15. You are a rapist if you manipulate her into sex when she doesn’t otherwise want it. If you say, “If you loved me you’d do X” then you’re a rapist. If you say, “All the other kids are doing it!” then you’re a rapist.

16. If you threaten her, or act in a way that SHE thinks you’re threatening her then you’re a rapist. If you puff up and get loud and frustrated while trying to ‘talk’ her into sex then you’re a rapist.

17. You are a rapist if you don’t immediately get your hands off of her when she says ‘no’. You are a rapist if you take your hands off of her and then put them back ON her after 10 minutes and she eventually ‘gives in’ to this tactic.

18. You are a rapist if you won’t let her sleep peacefully without waking her every 15 minutes asking her for sex. Sleep depravation is a form of torture and YOU are a rapist.

19. If you’re necking with her and you’re naked and you’ve already gone down on her and she says ‘No’ to sex with you and you have sex with her anyway then you’re a rapist.

20. If you’re engaged in intercourse and she says ‘No’ at ANY point and you don’t immediately stop then you’re a rapist.

21. If she said “Yes” to sex with a condom and that condom breaks and you proceed anyway then you’re a rapist.

22. If she picked you up at a bar looking for sex and then decides that she doesn’t WANT sex and you continue then you’re a rapist.

23. If she changes her mind at ANY point for ANY reason and you don’t immediately back off or you try to talk her into it and get sex anyway then you’re a rapist.

24. If you don’t hit her and she says ‘No’ you’re still a rapist.

25. If you don’t have a knife or a gun or a garrote and she says ‘No’ then you’re still a rapist.

26. If you’re a friend of hers you can still be a rapist.

27. If you had sex with her the night before but she doesn’t want morning sex and you pressure her for it anyway then you’re a rapist.

28. If you’re her husband you can still be a rapist.

29. If it’s your wedding night and she doesn’t WANT to have sex with you and you force or coerce her anyway then you’re a rapist.

30. If she’s had sex with you hundreds of times before but doesn’t want to on the 101st time then you’re a rapist.

31. If you penetrate her anally, orally or digitally against her will then YOU my friend, are ALSO a rapist.

32. Women do not owe you sex.

33. Buying her dinner does not entitle you to sex.

34. Paying her mortgage does not entitle you to sex.

35. Buying her clothing does not entitle you to sex.

36. Buying her lingerie does not entitle you to sex. It also doesn’t mean that she has any obligation to wear that lingerie around you.

37. Spending any amount of money on her does not, ever, entitle you to sex.

38. Seeing her legs or cleavage does not entitle you to sex.

39. If she ‘turns you on’ you’re not entitled to sex.

40. If she has fucked every man in a 10 square mile radius and she doesn’t want to fuck you and you have sex with her anyway, then you’re a rapist.

41. Her clothing is not a reason for you to rape her. Her LACK of clothing is no reason to rape her. If she’s wearing a thong and pasties you STILL have no right to rape her.

42. If she’s a prostitute and she says “No” then you’re a rapist.

43. If she’s a stripper and she says “No” then you’re a rapist. Likewise, if she’s a stripper and she’s been rubbing against your dick all night long and you follow her to her car and have sex with her against her will then you are ALSO a rapist.

44. If you watch a woman being raped without calling the authorities then you’re as bad as a rapist and you may also be a rapist yourself.

45. If you don’t fight rape then you accept rape.

46. If you don’t believe a woman when she says she was raped then you’re encouraging rape.

47. If you choose to remain friends with a man who raped a woman you are encouraging rape.

48. If you confess to the authorities that you raped a woman it does not exonerate you. You are not suddenly a model of good behavior.

49. If you ‘only’ raped one woman, you’re STILL a rapist.

50. You cannot tell who is a rapist by the way they look. Rapists are your friends, your brothers, your fathers and you won’t know it.

51. Do not get frustrated with a woman if she doesn’t trust you. SHE already knows that rapists don’t wear signs on their foreheads. Something you think is innocuous SHE may find terrifying.


~ by chrismcdevitt on July 16, 2007.

9 Responses to “You, sir, are a Rapist.”

  1. 21 is total bullshit.
    I’m surprised they left off “If you’re currently having sex with a girl and she’s either yelling RAPE! and or Fire! you are a rapist..”

  2. heh love it! o yea by the way McDevitt i was at the movie theater and apparently their giving away codes there now heres one for ya

    10 points: BTN9B9RLBMVYT6J

    you can thank me laater

  3. Oh my god. You’ve raped me. 😉

  4. […] Knowing that people take that tripe seriously makes me doubt any claim, legitimate or otherwise. Here it is if you haven’t read it yourself. My apathy to racism is just from living in Harlem. And […]

  5. wow, this is good. Thanks!

  6. SAD, i wasnt raped but everybody is blaming it on me.
    he always used to try and i would always say no…one day i gave in and we were fooling around, i then told him i do not want sex and he said okay, i can trust him…i was surprised when things changed and he said hes getting his condom. i pulled him towards me and said “you said i could trust you” over and over, he kept begging and saying”no baby im getting my condom…i gave up, i gave in…had sex…same weekend about i was drun and just lying there..i never consented, but he had sex with me anyway…stupid enuf of me to stay friends with him and not do anything about it…instead out of guilt i carried on having consensual sex with him 4 or 5 times. Life sucks…rape sucks..especially when everyone blames you, the person who its happened to about it.

  7. …i can’t believe how some of you are making jokes about this.
    by saying that certain things in this list are bullshit or saying that it must be why assault cases are high, YOU people are the ones keeping up a stereotype about rape — one that tells people who’ve experienced it that it’s not safe to talk about it, nobody will believe them, and that it’s not worth trying to get any justice after it happens.
    thanks for a heap of flaming nothing, from someone who HAS been raped and knows that people like you are full of bullshit.

  8. it sucks when a girl calls you a rapist to save her ass from her boyfriend who likes to beat on her and only wanted to fuck with you because her boyfriend got caught fucking a thirteen year old and now have to live with people thinking you did it is that right

  9. My first girlfriend was pretty pushy when it came to sex. I know she pressured at least one guy into getting nasty with her.

    Is she a rapist?

    Am I rapist because I dated her anyways?

    I feel dirty.

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