Finally, the Simpson Blog…

Well after all of my photo/laptop troubles, I’m finally happy to bring you my 7-11 Simpsons blog.  As you would know there’s free shit involved with the Simpson tie in and I love free shit.  So you can get codes off the Slurpees and register at 7-11simpsons.com .   It’s not great shit, but free shit is free shit. 

Poor Wiggum.

I haven’t been able to get near a TRULY made-over 7-11 but most of these pics give you an idea of what the half-assed Simpsons tie-ins look like across the country.  They’ve remade the Donut Dispenser to have the trademark Pink Donut with Sprinkles…

Sprinklicious

See the pink sprinkled donut?

Like I said, it’s not amazing, or really that funny, but its kind of cool to see products that you’ve watched on TV for the past twenty years in your real life.  Some are hilarious others are a disappointment.  As you can see below they’ve remade the Slurpee machine into Squishee, and the Big Gulps are now BUZZ COLA.

No Senor Pauly, No Weeezing the Ju-Ice!

Buzz -- it tastes like shit!

The best part of those photographs, if you look close enough, is the fact that there’s a tiny notice posted on each machine informing the poor asses from the nearby projects that they cannot in fact use food stamps to purchase Squishee or Slushee products.  This is not a stipulation of the Simpsons people, but of New Jersey State law.

Double Fisting BUZZ

I bought two Buzz Cola cans.  One to drink and the other to save because I’m nerdy like that.  Let me tell you, twenty seconds after my first sip of Buzz cola I had the worst gas pains I’ve ever had in my life.  I’m not sure whether they’re selling a soft drink or a laxative, but I will tell you that I’m not drinking it again.  At first I thought they might have just put Coca-Cola in a different can, but according to the packaging 7-11 made the Buzz Cola, and it’s awful.  It tastes like it came out of the Indian Guy’s mop bucket after a 3am Saturday Morning Aisle 8 Cleanup.  Gross as shit.

Brain Freeze

The Squishee’s however are awesome.  If you’ve never had a Mountain Dew Slushee you are truly missing out on one of my larger joys in life.  Well worth the 3.70 it costs for the slushee the commemorative cup and the wacky Homer Magnet straw.  Collect all 7, or however many there are.  My local 7-11 is kind of ghetto.  You never know when they’re shortchanging you.  I’m still looking for a copy of Radioactive Man #1, hopefully Slim picked one up for me like he said he would.

D'oh!

And finally to round out my nerddom, I made Jess go with me (even though she hadn’t eaten in 22 hours) all the way to a movie theater five towns over, because they had a display where you could sit on the couch with the Simpsons family.  Between the time I first saw the display and when I could get back with my camera, some fucking Jackass snapped off Homer’s arm.  Jess covered it up in her photo much better than I managed to in mine.

Double D'oh

If I lived in SpringfieldIn Show Business it’s all about who you know, and I know Homer J. Simpson.  Somewhere out there in the Lehigh Valley there’s a beat off running around with a giant yellow arm, and when I find him, I’m going to bitchslap him silly with it.  Springfield, represent!!!

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~ by chrismcdevitt on July 15, 2007.

One Response to “Finally, the Simpson Blog…”

  1. the simpsons 300 version
    http://www.filebox.ro/download.php?key=a691adb038ddce97a7e064dd42c7b46a

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