Sometimes I Weep For The World


Well the Fourth of July has come and gone, and with it came the inevitable Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest on Coney Island, and the numerous reports and articles of SuperHotDogEater Kobayashi’s defeat at the hands of American Joey Chestnut.  Is this something we as Americans are supposed to take pride in?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Wow, he ate 66 Hotdogs, and said that if he had to, he could eat another one.  That would make  67 Hotdogs.  For those kids out there who are awesome at eating and not so good at Math.

One British Paper actually went as far as to say that the US Restored Their Pride With Hot-Dog Victory.

An American guzzled 66 hot-dogs in 12 minutes to reclaim the Independence Day title from the slim Japanese who has dominated the sport for the last six years.

Joey Chestnut snatched victory by just three hot-dogs at the 92nd annual Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in New York’s Coney Island, beating long-time champion Takeru Kobayashi of Japan.

The two stood jaw-to-jaw as they munched down hot-dogs along with 15 other contestants. The result was so close that the judges reviewed the videotape before declaring the final decision. Mr Kobayashi appeared to vomit at the very end of the competition, which would have caused a disqualification, but the judges allowed his total of 63 to stand.

Let me stop you right there, British Reporter.  Kobayashi vomited into his hands.  He vomited hotdog, bun and water into his hands, and then to keep his score, he shoved the aforementioned vomit back into his mouth and swallowed it.  That sounds pretty competitive to me.  Also gross.

I haven’t seen this many Americans thrilled with a bullshit win in a nothing sport since the Tour De France.  Even NY’s Mayor got in on the hoopla whoop-de-doo.

I'd like to eat your hot dog, you yellow minx.

Un-Fuckin-Believable.  Well, I’m sure Kobayashi will get a chance to take his crown back in next month’s MAYONAISSE eating challenge.  Seriously.  There are not enough ESPN channels for me to ever consider this a sport let alone watch it.  And frankly as someone who suffers from GERD and has to take a 40 mg Nexium everyday for the rest of his life, I resent the contest and all its winners American or Otherwise.  Besides we all know Chestnut took Steroids, and probably killed the Benoit Family.  Okay we don’t know that, but this blog needed an ending.  Deal with it.


~ by chrismcdevitt on July 8, 2007.

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